If I had a nickel for every time played a scratcher and lost.

I like subtle contradictions, because I'm a genious!

If you plan to use your time machine to win the lottery, be sure to write down the correct numbers. Ugh, not again!!!! #TimeMachineProblems

"Never drive faster than your guardian angles can fly" - Euclid (I think) Yes, angles. It's often misquoted as angels, but in Euclid's time, angels were not yet discovered!

Rant »»» So, I'm finishing up a snack bag of Doritos® and I notice on the bag, 'For More Bold Experiences" and then their Facebook address. Is it me, or are these silly inconsequential chips trying to tell me that I can continue the 'thrill' I just experienced eating their faux cheese dusted chips, via a website? #MissingThePointOfYourOwnProduct, #YourCategoryOfFoodIsJunk

I took my invisibility cloak to the dry cleaners. I went to pick it up and they tell me they haven't seen it. #2020HindsightDoesNotApply

Yak Spleen

Ok, it's like this.

I have been served a wonderful meal.

I take a few bites and realize this is great. But I also see how this could be better with some minor seasonings. I mention it to the new waiter. Hearing that I want seasoning - he sprinkles ground up yak spleen all over my food. Then, sincerely tells me, 'Enjoy'. I know I don't like yak spleen - I've avoided it all my life.

But - here I am staring at a plate of yak spleen covered happiness. Pray for me that I have acquired a taste for yak spleen and that this will continue to be the best meal of my life.